Something Else

When you love someone so much, for so long
If it never quite materializes the way you think it should be,
The way it should be
The way it could be
Does it become something else?
Maybe just a fantasy, imaginary
A challenge,  protection, infatuation
Redemption or idealistic projection
A way to hide, from trying for something else
Something you tried, like fear of flying
You get over it with help,
Yet the memories will stay alive
And haunt the days and nights the same
such lonely times rarely get the blame
It's still messed up and vague
The something missing turns up often
just to be reality
And with it Lovelorn sage

Lessons of Life

To get through the days, I have realized that I can live my life to the fullest if I live like I am with her, even though I cannot be with her now. I can do everything the same as if we were together, I can keep my head up, keep my faith in God, try to do what is right. I can keep my love for her, I don't have to give up anything.
The only unbearable tomorrow is hopelessness, and there isn't time for that right now.

Missing the Point

What makes the most sense in this scenario?
A man falls in love with a woman who is unavailable and he waits for her forever. He knows the two are perfect for one another and any other woman will not get his full heart. He waits and waits and she may never become available. Maybe she finally does get free but will her heart stay the same for him after all this time? He was fantasizing that the love they shared was mutual and as deep as the oceans and as wide as the universe. He was projecting in the end because what was a miraculous find shouldn't ever be lost.

He moves on and finds a woman who can give her whole heart to him. He loves her as much as he can, he is protecting his heart  by trying to recapture that feeling where he is so in love he could and would do anything.
 It is not sufficient and now another heart is breaking.

Time and tide will tell, what this poor unfortunate soul should do. Hurting anyone else is not an option, neither is giving up on true love. But the flame in his heart will never ever go all the way out for her. It may just have to remain embers for the rest of their lives. A glowing reminder of the happiest days ready to be re ignited, ready to love again.

Happy thanksgiving

To be thankful for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It's the best of times - it's the worst of times, vicarious living must be exchanged for real life. The only people in this world I am bound to are my children and the time has come to prove I will do anything for them, what's best for them will be what's best for me, too.
One year goes by so quickly, four years has gone by so quickly . It's like a whole era can come and go and maybe come again, who knows?

What To Do. ?


When you love someone and would do anything, but can't. The world seems to be spinning away,  from me. So many things I've learned and would say, if there was a chance. I tried to stay away from what hurt for protection, but that hurts too. All the memories are so good and so clear. The best days ever and dear, to my heart. Sweet memories. Cherish the day. Fleeting. I had  written a message to send. I decided maybe it would make things worse, so I saved it. If I could just let her know what's in my heart, I would feel I did my best, the right thing. I would be able to say "I will always Love You, Forever" because I mean it. I will send that message. I will send it soon.

If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.

Its over now, finally, I understand. It's not like I give up. I am giving in. Knowing full well the way I felt could last forever, should last forever, would have lasted forever. Love should feel good, happy. It should effervesce every day and find a new way of expression that can be shared. I know what we had was special, and in my heart and memories it will remain. Alive.
 Everything that was is almost gone now. Some parts willfully left behind, some things taken from me, much can be replaced and everything has changed.
Wherever life takes me it still feels like I have a friend, like I am never alone. I move onward with the hope that all this was meant to be, and what is about to happen is what should happen. I know in my heart  I tried the best I could. I know it was true. It still is.

The Full Moon

Looking up into the evening sky and seeing the full moon conjures a peaceful nostalgia and awakens a dormant yearning to right what went wrong. Life has lots of mistakes and missed opportunities. Times when the hearts desire is close enough to taste. Times when completeness seems attainable. Some chances present themselves again sometimes lost is gone forever.

I have learned enough to know that even though I knew I was lucky beyond my wildest dreams and I did savor every moment because I knew it was more than I could hold onto, I lost a grip on reality.

The heart and the mind.

The sun and the moon.

Small things, Big things.

Ascertainable or veiled.

Everything becomes one in a poetic sense.

Eternity at a glance, temporarily aligned.

Hearts on Fire

Frozen in Time

God is Love

Love is sublime