Happy thanksgiving

To be thankful for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It's the best of times - it's the worst of times, vicarious living must be exchanged for real life. The only people in this world I am bound to are my children and the time has come to prove I will do anything for them, what's best for them will be what's best for me, too.
One year goes by so quickly, four years has gone by so quickly . It's like a whole era can come and go and maybe come again, who knows?

What To Do. ?


When you love someone and would do anything, but can't. The world seems to be spinning away,  from me. So many things I've learned and would say, if there was a chance. I tried to stay away from what hurt for protection, but that hurts too. All the memories are so good and so clear. The best days ever and dear, to my heart. Sweet memories. Cherish the day. Fleeting. I had  written a message to send. I decided maybe it would make things worse, so I saved it. If I could just let her know what's in my heart, I would feel I did my best, the right thing. I would be able to say "I will always Love You, Forever" because I mean it. I will send that message. I will send it soon.

If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.

Its over now, finally, I understand. It's not like I give up. I am giving in. Knowing full well the way I felt could last forever, should last forever, would have lasted forever. Love should feel good, happy. It should effervesce every day and find a new way of expression that can be shared. I know what we had was special, and in my heart and memories it will remain. Alive.
 Everything that was is almost gone now. Some parts willfully left behind, some things taken from me, much can be replaced and everything has changed.
Wherever life takes me it still feels like I have a friend, like I am never alone. I move onward with the hope that all this was meant to be, and what is about to happen is what should happen. I know in my heart  I tried the best I could. I know it was true. It still is.

The Full Moon

Looking up into the evening sky and seeing the full moon conjures a peaceful nostalgia and awakens a dormant yearning to right what went wrong. Life has lots of mistakes and missed opportunities. Times when the hearts desire is close enough to taste. Times when completeness seems attainable. Some chances present themselves again sometimes lost is gone forever.

I have learned enough to know that even though I knew I was lucky beyond my wildest dreams and I did savor every moment because I knew it was more than I could hold onto, I lost a grip on reality.

The heart and the mind.

The sun and the moon.

Small things, Big things.

Ascertainable or veiled.

Everything becomes one in a poetic sense.

Eternity at a glance, temporarily aligned.

Hearts on Fire

Frozen in Time

God is Love

Love is sublime

Idealization

In my mind, my creation

love that can never die

As deep as the ocean to the sky

just to be able to have felt that way back then

I am forever thankful in every way

I lived in the moment the best I could

cherished each kiss and couldn't hug tighter

I remember still with wistful smile

when looking in her eyes made my heart skip 3 beats

I would tell her it's the same today,

but Life forced our separate ways

I can still thank God every day

I was given the chance to feel that way

My heart is healed and the adoration is clarified

I got to know true love and felt real passion

Now, I'm holding on loosely without no hope

that these embers get to again catch their fire and

the flock of butterflies inside my chest,

may never find their rest

Is it my failure, is this my test?