Thursday, April 28, 2011

Anything That Helps

I see someone who reminds me of her,
and my heart immediately swoons

I while away my time thinking about all that was,
and I never get that far away, though I try to see why I'm stuck

Memories, like empty rooms can be refilled
Behind every door the chance is there to win again

I got lucky before, I'll get lucky again, the faulty logic says
But I never was a gambling man

For some reason I can't forget my good fortune,
I guess its because it was true, one time

It hurts to lose the bet
to realize there is no second chance out there

The one thing that never changes

I missed her again today

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Ashamed of this Weakness

An addictive personality latches onto anything that makes it complete. Using activities and ideas to posit the thought process into a comfortable channel. Dreaming a dream if that helps to dull the grating grip of cold reality. How many times have I been played? How did I want to be played? Was I coerced and tricked into sin or did I willingly go there and do that? These questions will never be answered but I can say honestly my deceptions never were meant to beguile another person. My sin was always meant to be replaced with the honorable intention. Having no other way to get to my goal I fell into the trap. Still I sinned.