Expedience

In the face of life's challenges every day I have a little list my mind likes to work under.

I hope to do something good each and every day.

I also try to clear one problem out of the way. So many times I go backwards and re plow the same row. Hoping for an improved result.

Trying to do something to show my loved ones I care, even the smallest gesture. Trying to keep some love alive when the going seems lonely and cold.

Focus on attainable goals first, chasing tails is for puppies and kittens.

It's good to dream too, and attempt to keep alive a pledge I made to myself back in my youth. I will not surrender my ideal, or compromise with this world, ever again. I had been brought down where I couldn't even see what I was doing to the detriment of my own peace of mind. To break free of the trap only to get lured back in? I have followed my heart and now my mind has difficulty reassuring me, if I move toward a more beneficial way. I have been so blessed and yet I still feel like what is missing is the better part of my heart. It won't be so difficult to deny myself as to try not to hurt someone else.

I know its the same for everyone in this world, there's a way that seems right. Why can't it just be obvious? Sure some things are obvious and actually quite simple. Big picture things of right and wrong. Commandments. But then there are things that lie just below the surface that are so easy to misunderstand, what the trial is and what path leads to more spiritual growth. Sometimes the path of least resistance is the right path. But the fork in the road always creates some doubt. And that is when we must know God is with us even when we make a mistake.

I remember a church sermon where the Pastor was talking about God opening up doors and He has a contingency for every choice and there is a way to get back to doing His will even if you start out going the wrong way, maybe it's not the original path God intended but in the end all paths lead back to the source and to Him.