There is a spiritual entity called Maya _____ and she is instructed by the supreme Lord to distract people from their true object of worship, Himself. It is a counterbalance so we realize our need to continually place our focus on God himself. Anyway I fell, and once again I have paid a price for my failure in choosing upon whom I should fall in love and devote myself. Of course God is first. I am now talking about women and how I get to a lifelong partner who I love and adore.
Blessed by God (again!) I met another woman who really cares about me and in her is everything I ever wanted, a supporter, a nurturer, a friend, a lover, a healer , and a very spiritual soul full of goodness. Unfortunately, my ability to release my heart from bondage is inadequate at best, and the cold water I put on the flames of my passion for my previous love have left the place where fire should be burning damp and smothered. I am unable to put my heart out right now where she needs it to be so we can join each other in a true love relationship.
So I wander aimlessly trying to figure out where to go. When I see a woman that looks like my previous lover I swoon and feel a tremendous pull toward her. It is just a shell and chasing a feeling that is long gone, this I know full well. It does not help to think rationally, I have weighed the pros and cons for 2 years and neglected my conscience and all reason. I was in Love with my whole heart, and now there is a whole that may never be filled. That is partially why I do everything I can to exorcize that demon, that part of me afraid to love, makes wrong choices as to avoid true love, and fears he will never find true Love.